Anniversaries are usually happy things. You celebrate the success of a relationship or the longevity of gainful employment. But what happens when the anniversary marks a date you’d rather not remember? In this case, the upcoming date might be filling you with a sense of dread or spiking feelings of depression or anxiousness. If you’ve ever felt this way about the anniversary of a traumatic date in your life, don’t worry. You’re not alone! This is extremely common and it’s called an anniversary reaction.
What is an anniversary reaction?
There are several studies – like this one that focused on war veterans or this one that focused on parents who had lost children – that show that the anniversary reaction has a real impact on people. Some common symptoms of an anniversary reaction are the intrusion of memories about your traumatic event, the desire to avoid people or places that you link to the event, negative feelings like sadness or shame, or a sense of nervousness and anxiety.
In short, the anticipation of an upcoming date can make you feel a wide range of emotions. And, unfortunately, most of them can negatively impact your mental health. But there is good news. First, the anniversary reaction is completely normal. Second, because it’s linked to a specific date, once that date passes your feelings should pass, too.
How to protect your mental health during an anniversary reaction.
Knowing that the symptoms that are stressing your brain now will fade with time might help. But if you’re looking for something you can do beyond waiting it out, we have a few recommendations for you.
Know – and take care of – yourself.
This is an absolutely critical time to practice self-care. If you know that you’ve experienced an anniversary reaction in years prior, start taking steps to minimize your pain this year now. Eliminate other stressors around that time of year. Start establishing a self-care routine now. Gather friends and family around you and invest time and energy in doing things that make you happy.
Talk to someone.
Support during this challenging time is key. Friends and family who know about your traumatic event will be sympathetic towards the way its upcoming anniversary makes you feel. So don’t be afraid to talk it out. Or, if you want a more private way to verbally process what you’re feeling, this is a great time to start therapy. Our team at the Ventura Counseling & Wellness Center knows just how much emotion an anniversary can bring up and we’d love to help you protect your mental health during this time.
Plan an activity.
It might seem counterintuitive to do something on the day you’re dreading. But having something else on the calendar keeps your mind and body engaged on this important day. It’s a great way to prevent yourself from getting overwhelmed by what you’re feeling. There are two routes to take with your activity that day: commemorative or creating something new.
If your anniversary reaction is driven by loss of a loved one, for example, commemorating them with a visit to their grave followed by a lunch with friends and family could be cathartic. If, however, your traumatic event is one you’d rather not revisit at all, dedicate the day to doing something else meaningful to you. Volunteer with your favorite local charity. Go on a long hike with friends. Try an activity you’ve always wondered about. This is a great opportunity to motivate yourself to do something fun and reap mental health benefits from it! Having something to look forward to on that day can help ease your mental burden.
Join our Life in Transition Workshop.
You shouldn’t have to suffer through an anniversary reaction year after year. And we have a real way you can put an end to the hold this traumatic event has on your life. Join us at the end of October for our 3-day Life in Transition Workshop. This workshop was created to give you time to address – and ultimately make peace with – the past transitions and traumas of your life. We’d love if you would join us!
Again, our team at the Ventura Counseling & Wellness Center would love to be here for you during this time. If you’d like to talk about your anniversary reaction so we can come up with a plan for handling it together, call or email us today!
