We’ve talked about self-care before, and not just because it’s a trending topic. While the relationships with other people in our lives matter, we’re the only ones who can truly know what we need. In other words, the only person who can best care for you is you. But where do you begin?
Self-care looks different for different people. You might take a physical approach, taking care of your body with more sleep, healthier food, and regular exercise. Or you might focus on your mental wellbeing, getting together with friends more and starting therapy. You might use self-care to give yourself a well-deserved mood boost. A bubble bath or time spent reading a good book both count as self-care.
If you’re wondering how to get started with self-care, you need to think through where you’re at and what would feel good for your mind, body, and overall wellbeing. Let’s lay out some guidelines to help here.
Find out what you need
Maybe you’ve been really busy or feeling particularly down. When life throws you curveballs, it’s tempting to push negative feelings to the back of your mind. But that can disconnect you from what you need.
Say you’ve been really stressed about work or school. You might keep telling yourself that you just need to push through to get past a certain project or deadline. In reality, though, you might need the opposite.
Give yourself the gift of some time to check in and find out what your body and mind want. It might be helpful to sit with a notebook in a calm, comfy spot, like the beach or your bed. Carve out a chunk of time, like 30 minutes, and silence your phone and other distractions.
Ask yourself what you need. Are you tired? Are you frustrated? Is there a relationship in your life that’s bumming you out? It’s not overly pleasant, but you can start by writing down what’s making you feel less than your best.
Then, ask yourself what self-care would look like in those areas. If you’re tired, maybe you need to get into a better sleep routine. If you’re frustrated, maybe you try meditation, yoga, or some high-intensity cardio to burn out some of that energy. Or if someone in your life is causing you pain, stress, or sadness, evaluate what self-care would look like in that relationship. That could be having a conversation to call out something that’s bothering you or setting up boundaries to protect yourself.
Ultimately, to get started with self-care, you need to figure out what you need.
Start small to get started with self-care
Too many people get caught up in thinking that self-care means setting up some robust routine with lots of components. But you don’t have to buy bubble bath, face masks, candles, a yoga mat — you get the idea — to get started with self-care.
In fact, you can practice self-care right now. Take a deep breath. Think of one thing you’re grateful for. Give yourself a compliment. That’s all free self-care you can tap into at any time.
You don’t have to wait to start self-care until you can set up a gym membership or buy the right supplies or get yourself in the perfect mood. If you feel like you could use some self-care (and don’t we all?), you can and should start today. Look for little ways to take better care of yourself as you go through your day, and you might be surprised how easy it is to get started with self-care.
Make it a habit
This is the piece most people miss. They get on a good sleep or exercise schedule for a few weeks, for example, but then life creeps back in. Even when we know self-care can help us feel better, it’s all too easy to let it fall by the wayside.
Self-care is just like any other type of care, though. It works when you stick with it. If your doctor prescribed you medication and it made you feel better, you wouldn’t stop taking it after a couple of weeks. You’ll benefit from applying the same sticktoitiveness to your self-care routine.
That said, you don’t need to lock yourself in here, either. In one week, self-care might look like a hike in a beautiful spot. In the next week, it might look like a nap. The key isn’t to do the same thing over and over again, but to continually check in with yourself and make sure you’re getting what you need.
Finding out just what that is can be tricky, though. If you’re in a difficult season and you want help identifying self-care tactics that can help you, get in touch with us. Here at the Ventura Counseling & Wellness Center, our team offers a safe space, a listening ear, and tools to help you navigate life while taking care of yourself.
