Per a certain song, it’s supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. Actually, though, the holiday season is pretty difficult for a lot of folks.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) conducted a survey a few years ago. It found that 3 out of 5 people said the holidays negatively affect their mental health.
If that rings true for you, now is an excellent time to start taking some proactive measures. Specifically, setting healthy boundaries this holiday season can help you head into 2025 feeling safe instead of spent.
Here are a few areas you might want to implement some boundary setting tips.
When you have to interact with challenging people
With Thanksgiving a little over a week away, you might be gearing up to see people you don’t usually. Whether that’s an uncle you only interact with during holidays or a sibling’s significant other who’s mostly off your radar, holiday gatherings can bring you into the orbit of specific folks. And if you know upcoming events will bring you face-to-face with people who are difficult for you, this is an excellent area to practice setting healthy boundaries this holiday season.
You can do this in a few ways. First, you might want to set clear expectations with the host. You might tell them that you’ll come for two hours, for example. Knowing you have a hard out can make the time there more manageable.
You may also benefit from rehearsing a script to shut down any unwanted conversations. If a family member always asks why you haven’t had kids yet, for example, you might be ready to say, “Having children is an extremely personal choice. Please respect my privacy here.” or “I’m focusing on (whatever’s important to you).” It’s okay to protect yourself from unwanted conversations.
For any unwelcome conversations, don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t want to talk about this. Let’s focus on enjoying the holiday together.” This might be a perfect opportunity to practice people-pleasing less.
When the holiday season feels overwhelming
If this time of year always feels excessively stressful, setting healthy boundaries this holiday season probably means saying no.
Pull out your calendar and look at the rest of the year. If you already have quite a few holiday plans, you might want to politely decline any other invitations you get. At the very least, be choosy about what you commit to.
To help with the overwhelm, make a list of everything you feel like you have to do. Then, try to identify at least two days where you can focus on knocking things out.
If you see you have a free Sunday in a couple of weeks, for example, you might put a hold on your calendar. Then, you can use that day for gift shopping and making and freezing cookie dough for that cookie swap that always sneaks up on you. Planning ahead can prevent the feeling of “not enough time” from growing at an overwhelming pace.
When it’s hard to balance work and personal pressures
If you always seem to feel torn between work and friends/family this time of year, healthy boundaries this holiday season probably start with your manager. We have some specific strategies you can deploy to try to establish some work-life balance before you head into 2025.
The holiday season shouldn’t be a time of stress. If you’re having trouble managing family dynamics or the pressures of the season, a therapist can absolutely help. If you’re curious about getting started — especially for added support during this potentially difficult time of year — contact us at the Ventura Counseling & Wellness Center in Ventura or the West Valley Counseling Center in Tarzana.
