Mental health feels like a deeply personal issue. No one knows what you’re thinking and feeling like you do. But your own mental wellness doesn’t just impact your internal world. There’s a link between mental health and relationships.
This goes both ways. Mental health challenges can take a toll on your connections with others, even people you love dearly. Fortunately, the reverse is also true. Better mental health can mean better relationships — and those connections can even further improve your mental state.
What mental health challenges can do to your relationships
When you’re not feeling your best, it’s hard to be your best self in the world. Whether you’re dealing with a mental challenge like depression or anxiety or you have a cold or the flu, life feels harder. You might struggle to accomplish tasks and you generally don’t feel like you have the energy to pour into others.
In short, when you’re struggling to take care of yourself, it’s hard to take care of others.
As a result, you might put space between yourself and other people. You may actively push them away with hurtful words, or you might simply stop responding to texts and calls.
When it comes to mental health and relationships, different challenges affect you and your connections differently. If you’re dealing with anxiety, talking to another person might trigger your unease. You might worry that you’ll say the wrong thing or catastrophize how they perceive you after hanging out.
If you’re living with depression, the thought of spending time with others might feel like it would drain what little energy you have. You might have less interest in your relationships than before, too.
Ultimately, dealing with your own mental health challenge can put a strain on your relationships. As one recent study concluded in its findings, “Individuals experiencing mental illness struggle in their relationships with friends, family, and romantic partners for a wide variety of reasons. Mental illness creates barriers to the emotional and physical intimacy required in relationships.”
A motivating factor: do it for the people you love
This might feel like an added scoop of bad news when you’re already not feeling great. But we don’t say this to add even more rain to your parade.
Instead, the reminder about the link between mental health and relationships can be a motivating factor. If you’re not taking steps to address your mental challenge for yourself, think about the people who care about you.
Your chosen family has invested in building a connection with you. If you pull back now, you’re not showing them what all of that time, energy, and care means to you.
To protect your relationships even when you’re going through a difficult season mentally, we have two suggestions.
First, open up about what you’re going through. For starters, your friend is a lot less likely to have their feelings hurt if you leave them on read if they understand that you’re struggling. More importantly, though, people who care about you can rally around you.
As difficult as it is to recognize the need for social connection in moments of depression, it’s often one of the main things we need to feel less burdened. Communicating to others what you’re going through opens up the opportunity for empathy and more connection.
Challenge the fear to tell people close to you what you need. If you’ve been feeling lonely but exhausted, for example, you might say you’ll come over for a movie night but you don’t want to chat much before and after. True friends will understand — and they’ll probably even be glad and relieved to know how to help you.
Secondly, if you’ve been feeling this way for a few weeks or longer, talk to a therapist. This gives you a way to figure out what’s going on and develop tools for coping. Your therapist can also help you explore your mental health and relationships, giving you ways to build boundaries where you need them while supporting the connections that are important to you.
The added bonus: relationships support mental wellness
If you need another reason to take care of yourself so you can take care of your relationships, we have a good one. Those connections are good for your mental wellness.
Numerous studies have linked strong interpersonal relationships with reduced symptoms of anxiety and depression, better self-esteem, and even better physical health.
So, when you invest in improving your mental health, you make it easier to have healthier relationships. This, in turn, helps to boost your mental wellbeing further. You can get on this upswing — you just need to take the first step.
We’re here to make it easy to get started with therapy. You can get in touch with us at the Ventura Counseling & Wellness Center in Ventura or the West Valley Counseling Center in Tarzana.
