You’ve probably heard all about the benefits of positive thinking. You might have even tried to apply it for yourself. But just saying that you want to think positively doesn’t transform your brain overnight.
Your thought patterns are just like anything else in your life. As you repeat them, you get into a groove. Breaking the habit is usually hard, and it usually takes time. Therapists like to say, “Neurons that fire together, wire together,” which essentially means that with repetition, we can rewire our brains. So cut yourself some slack — and don’t give up.
As you commit to moving toward more adaptive thinking over time, here are three tools you can employ.
Observe your thought cycles
Try to notice if your internal dialogue is operating on autopilot. Tune in to what you think throughout the day. Start noticing where your mind goes. When something happens, what’s your first thought?
We are not quite in the part of the process where we focus on changing things yet. Awareness is the first step. Essentially, this first phase of transforming your thought cycles is all about turning up the volume on that voice in your head so you can hear it more clearly. And trust us, we understand that turning up the volume can be a bit distressing — but it is a key element to the change process.
Here, it can be helpful to dedicate a time to get it all out. A lot of us walk around with that nagging or critical voice in the back of our heads that we try not to notice. It’s time to give that voice the mic.
Sit down and write out all your negative thoughts. Let yourself feel all the feelings, even — and especially — the ones you might think are bad. This kind of shadow work helps to call everything up to the surface so you can address your thought patterns in the light of day.
Challenge your thought cycles
It’s time to get real. Our negative thinking can take a lot of forms, but it’s usually pretty extreme. All-or-nothing thinking and catastrophization are two common types of negative thinking, for example. But life is usually a lot more nuanced than our negative thought cycles assume.
Take a step back and try to get an unbiased view of the situation. If you remove all of your personal feelings and assumptions, what are you left with?
Going through this practice on a regular basis can help you start to build a habit of challenging negative thought cycles. As you hone that skill, you might learn that the world is a more accommodating, easier place than you previously feared.
Once you have identified your negative thought patterns, try to employ the practice of challenging these patterns with alternatives. Start by naming two alternative messages or perspectives that can reduce the amount of power you’re giving the unproductive thought. In the beginning, it will feel nearly unbelievable, but try and focus on repetition.
Get serious about gratitude
Experts often say that breaking negative thought cycles centers on replacing the negative thoughts with positive ones. But when you’re used to seeing the glass as half empty, putting a positive spin on things is anything but easy.
Gratitude goes a long way here. This means carving out dedicated time to look for the good in your life. It also means finding ways to express your thankfulness for it.
During the Thanksgiving season a couple of years ago, we explored four practical ways to build your gratitude skill. With Thanksgiving coming up fairly quickly here, it’s a great time to revisit those options. Take them for a spin and see if any make it easier for you to replace your negative thought cycles with positive ones.
As we said up top, breaking negative thought patterns doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time and focus. If you want guidance along the way, a therapist can be a huge help. To get matched with one who can help you recognize and challenge your negative thinking, contact our team at the Ventura Counseling & Wellness Center in Ventura or the West Valley Counseling Center in Tarzana.
