Most of us have an ideal version of ourselves that we try to present to the world. Behind the scenes, though, there’s usually a lot more going on.
Shadow work calls up these inner parts that we often try to repress or ignore. First introduced by Carl Jung, the concept of the shadow self invites us to acknowledge all of the parts of ourselves — even the ones we find less desirable.
By doing shadow work, we might learn to better understand ourselves. We may even find plenty to celebrate about the parts of ourselves that we had tucked away.
Looking at our blind spots
Even in a therapy setting, it’s natural to try to be the best version of ourselves. We’re much more likely to voice opinions and feelings that are traditionally thought of as positive. But that often leads to keeping parts of ourselves hidden.
In fact, we might keep those parts so tamped down that we start to forget they’re there.
This is what Jung calls the shadow self: the unconscious or hidden parts of ourselves. We often think of aspects of our shadow selves as negative. But identifying those core parts of who we are helps us become more self-aware, whole people.
With shadow work, we get the opportunity to turn our attention to or blind spots. We look at what we’ve repressed and ignored (or tried to). And the benefits here are twofold.
First, we get to embrace ourselves as whole people. We often learn that traits we’ve fought against have aspects worth celebrating. Selfishness, for example, can be a huge driver in setting boundaries that help you protect yourself.
Additionally, engaging with your shadow self helps you better understand why you think, act, and feel the way you do. You might uncover something that you’ve repressed that explains why certain behaviors tend to trigger you, for example.
Meeting your shadow self
To dig into shadow work, you can start by tracking your emotions. When you have a strong reaction to something, ask yourself why? If you can’t quite put your finger on why something made you feel so angry or so anxious, for example, the root could be in your shadow self.
It can also be helpful to notice when you identify a feeling or action as negative. You might be ashamed of feelings of pride, jealousy, or fear, for example. But if you dig into that feeling instead of immediately dismissing it as “bad,” what would you uncover? Let’s walk through a few examples to help here.
Pride
Pride might be well-justified. You worked hard and achieved something. The pride isn’t inherently bad, it’s how you act in light of it that could be harmful to others. You don’t want to be a braggart or rub someone’s face in your success, but you deserve to feel proud of your accomplishments.
Jealousy
Jealousy might feel trickier. We’re taught that it’s bad to be jealous of others, that jealousy is an ugly trait. But jealousy might be your inner self’s way of telling you about something it wants. Being jealous of another person’s relationship could be your signal to put some time and energy into the people you care about. Ultimately, jealousy is a healthy and actually hard-wired emotion. It’s intended to foster motivation and growth in our lives when responded to adaptively.
Fear
Fear is another emotion people typically categorize as negative, but it’s a useful tool. Your fear could be warning you of something you should genuinely avoid. Or it could be telling you that you need more preparation or support for the thing in front of you. You might listen to that fear and ultimately decide to push past it. But taking the time to pause and acknowledge that emotion goes a long way. In fact, looking squarely at your fear may help you observe parts of it that are unfounded.
Getting started with shadow work
Clearly, there’s a lot to get into once you start the work of acknowledging your shadow self. Journaling is an excellent tool when you’re getting started with shadow work.
As you go about your day, you might want to keep a note in your phone to track negative emotions. Jot down the feeling and some quick details about what triggered it.
Then, when you have time later, pull out your journal and reflect on that emotion. As you engage with your shadow self, you’ll start to learn more about what drives you, what triggers you, and yourself as a whole, integrated person.
Remember, there is technically no such thing as a “bad” feeling. There are only feelings we have when our needs are being met (positive) and feelings when our needs are not being met (negative). This could be a helpful framework to work from as you navigate and explore the deeper components to your shadow work.
Go slowly with shadow work
It’s often uncomfortable to look at our shadow selves. But if that discomfort makes you feel hurt or fearful, it’s time to slow down and get a professional involved.
For some people, doing shadow work means facing trauma that they’ve repressed. This is important work, but it’s best approached with a trained mental health expert by your side. Working with a therapist can help you build safety into your shadow work. If you want to explore getting to know your shadow self with the help of a therapist, our team would love to come alongside you. Contact us at the Ventura Counseling & Wellness Center in Ventura or the West Valley Counseling Center in Tarzana to get started.
