With the rise of remote work that we saw during the pandemic, work-life boundaries got blurrier. When your home becomes your workplace, you lose the ability to physically leave the area where work is expected of you.
Even non-remote workers can struggle with work-life boundaries, too. Everything from flexible hours to overly demanding bosses can make it difficult to clock out and relax.
But this is taking its toll. A study recently evaluated these blurring work-life boundaries and found that they make us less happy and more emotionally exhausted. On top of that, the study revealed that even if you already have healthy lifestyle habits in place, work creeping into your personal life can erode those habits.
If that sounds familiar, it’s time to make some changes to protect yourself and your mental health. Take these three steps to establish — and, just as importantly, hold — your work-life boundaries.
Step 1: Decide when to clock off
If you’re an hourly employee, this is pretty straightforward. Once your work hours end, you’re done with work. (If this doesn’t feel true for you, the next two steps will help.)
If you’re salaried, though, it can be more difficult to determine what doesn’t and doesn’t qualify as work time.
A conversation with your supervisor — and sometimes other work colleagues — can help. Ask them about their expectations as far as your availability. If your supervisor expects you to be responsive from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. five days a week, for example, you know that your evenings and days off should be free.
Deciding when to clock off gets extra difficult if you work for a demanding employer. If your boss can’t outline a realistic expectation around when you should be working (i.e., 40 hours a week or close to it),and you feel your work life is taking a toll on your well-being because of this, it might be time to explore other jobs. Career counseling can help here.
Step 2: Communicate your boundaries with your supervisors and teammates
Once you have clarity around when you’re on and off the clock, it’s important to make sure you’re not the only one that knows those hours. If you have a coworker who loves to burn the midnight oil, that’s fine. But if they expect you to respond to their work requests outside of normal working hours, that’s not fair to you (or to the other coworkers they likely also ping after hours).
Clear communication gives you a way to make your boundaries known to your team, including your supervisor. This can be something as simple as, “I’m available until 6 p.m. each night. I’ll respond to any requests I receive after that when I’m back at my desk the next day.”
Even if you just talked with your supervisor about what your work hours entail, they may need reminders. While it might feel disrespectful to have your time infringed upon, remember that most people are busy. They might not be trying to step on your personal time — they may have simply forgotten. This is doubly true if you had a habit of working outside of business hours before you established the boundary. Essentially, the only person we can really rely on to advocate and take care of ourselves is us!
Step 3: Stay consistent
Reinforcing your work-life boundaries often feels uncomfortable because it usually means telling someone no. But remind yourself that you’re not telling them no, never. You’re saying not right now.
As your coworkers learn which hours you keep, this should get easier. With consistency, they’ll learn what to expect from you.
Maintaining work-life boundaries is generally most difficult with someone in a position above you. If re-communicating your boundary doesn’t seem to be effective, ask if you can schedule some time (during work hours) to talk about expectations around your availability. Going into that meeting, identify specific scenarios when that higher-up pushes your boundaries. Also, think through what it would look like if they stopped doing that.
If, for example, your supervisor always pings you late at night because they’re pushing up against a deadline of their own, surface that during your conversation. Explain that you feel that’s a pain point in your work life, and you’d like to find a better way of working. Developing a process so you can preload the information they need so it’s ready for them when they need it might help, for example.
Ultimately, you can offer solutions to the root cause of the work-life boundary creep, but don’t offer to budge. In most cases, if you can hold your boundary firm for a few months, your team will learn it. And your work-life balance will improve moving forward.
This is a fairly surface-level exploration of work-life boundaries. If this is an issue for you and following these three steps doesn’t help, our career counselors can come alongside you to figure out a path forward. That might mean trying different boundary-setting techniques or seeking out a new job. For support with all of that, reach out to us at the Ventura Counseling & Wellness Center in Ventura or the West Valley Counseling Center in Tarzana.
